Vulnerability is a gift. - God

vul·ner·a·bil·i·ty

noun

The quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

My whole life I had spent building walls and boundaries so that I would not be hurt so much so that I never realized how closed off to love and affection I had been. Not talking about intimacy with a person but just even the love and affection from my Heavenly Father. It was so much easier to keep busy than to sit still and listen to his heart for me.

After a long stressful week of work was when I first heard the Lord speak to me about vulnerability. You see I had never had a massage and I had gained a lot of weight while I dealt with depression, that it really discouraged me from even wanting to get one. It was on a massage table fully prepped to be pampered that I closed my eyes and opened my ears to what the Lord had to say.

God shared with me how vulnerability is a form of intimacy and it is required to build sustainable long-lasting relationships. At that moment I knew it was an invitation to yield to his love and listen to who he said I was. He mentioned to me that intimacy was created by him to bring unity and oneness. He told me how he felt about the places in my heart I had closed off due to fear.

All of my insecurities and fear came from a root of rejection, not being accepted for who he created me to be. The fear of my body image, fear of building relationships due to past hurts was ruling my life. The myth of perfection had invaded my life because I believed that I was not good enough.

During that time he shared with me that there is no part of me that is unknown to Him and yet he chose me. All of the imperfections I tucked away he knew and he loved me just the same. I was not contaminated because I had chosen a lifestyle of immorality for a season of my life, I was never too far gone for him to rescue me. It was hiding the very things he needed me to hand over to him that kept me from some of the biggest breakthroughs in my life.

At the end of the massage, I had new eyes to see myself and receive love. The stillness while so simple calmed my racing heart & made it beat to the heartbeat of Heaven for my life. Since then I discover day by day a new level of vulnerability. Whether it's embracing my mistakes and learning from them or letting someone know what is on my heart. I choose to be open with the one who created me so that he may release Identity & purpose into my life.

@Lizy_Lioness